I don't care if it rains or freezes

Long as I got my plastic Jesus

Ridin' on the dashboard of my car

Through my trials and tribulations

And my travels through the nation

With my plastic Jesus I'll go far

Ridin' down the thoroughfare

With a nose up in the air

A wreck may be ahead but he don't mind

Trouble comin' he don't seek

He just keeps his eye on me

And any other thing that lies behind

With my plastic Jesus

Goodbye and I'll go far

I sit with my plastic Jesus

Sitting on the dashboard of my car

When I'm in a traffic jam

He don't care if I say damn

I can let all my curses roll

'Cause Jesus plastico doesn't hear

'Cause he has a plastic ear

The man who invented plastic saved my soul

With my plastic Jesus

I said goodbye and I'll go far

I sit with my plastic Jesus

Sitting on the dashboard of my car, oh yeah

And if I weave around at night

Policemen think I'm very tired

They never find my bottle though they ask

'Cause plastic Jesus shelters me

For his head comes off, you see

He's hollow and I use him like a flask

Save me

I don't care if it's dark or scary

Long as I got magnetic Mary

Ridin' on the dashboard of my car

I feel that I'm protected amply

I've got the love of the whole damn family

Ridin' on the dashboard of my car

With my plastic Jesus

I said goodbye and I'll go far

And I sit with my plastic Jesus

I said we're sitting on the dashboard of my car, oh-oh

I sit with my plastic Jesus (when I'm goin' fornicatin' I've got my ceramic Satan)

Help me Jesus, help me Jesus (sittin' on the dashboard of my car)

With my plastic Jesus (women know I'm on the level thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil)

Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car