Reasons (feat. Nicole Cross)

Circles and cycles and seasons, for everything there's always reasons But it's never good, never turns out as it should No one ever held you, no single moment of truth But if you were mine I would've looked into those eyes and said... Look I'm walkin' down this road but I'm moving so slow Man it feels like I'm a toad I try to make these moves but none of them are bold What if I told you that I threw in all my cards to fold? I didn't... but I feel like I'll consider it 'cause all the shit it's done for me has been so inconsiderate The phase I'm in right now, I never meant to enter it Sometimes I wish I could go back and delete this for my betterment I've been at the point where I couldn't cry myself to sleep I heard that's a release, but a tear I couldn't seep It feels like I'm drowning 'cause these waters run deep And I'm trying to swim but it's sure not up to me I sit down and think about it My life sucks I'm stuck on the same girl Yeah that's tough And I'm chasing down this dream And if I don't succeed I'll be making fucking tacos 'til I'm over sixty three Yeah that's heavy, a heavy cross to bear Jesus really suffered but I feel like I'm right there Maybe it's my sin to cover up these lies Hide behind a smile so the sadness multiplies I'm filled with so much doubt What if I never make it? What if I bear it all and never find someone to take it? The angel who's always been there for me, what if she's the devil? And she's lowkey keeping me from reaching all these higher levels? I don't even know who I am Maybe I should listen to the signs As i pick up the pen Are these my last lines? Circles and cycles and seasons, for everything there's always reasons But it's never good, never turns out as it should No one ever held you, no single moment of truth But if you were mine I would've looked into those eyes and said... I don't wanna do this anymore I'm really done with rapping this 'Cause lately I ain't felt I just wanna feel happiness That you can't provide, you never really have All you've done is leave me broke and said "oh well" at that Everything I love just hurts me God please tell me why! I've been searchin' for these answers that I never seem to find And I can't begin a journey if I've got nowhere to climb But I can't go on in life without music by my side What else could I pursue? I suck at it all I lack common sense and I'm really 'bout to fall Something is telling me that I need to give more But honestly man music is all I live for But I can't do it alone, I'm sick of saying "new year" Nobody on my team ever since I moved here Nobody's really true that's all it proves "I'll always be here for you Jason" but That's all a ruse I've been living on a floor I've got no money anymore I've broken hearts across the board Broke mine too inside it's core So I add up all the scores you don't compare to the whores My heart's seepin' out it's pores as I spill the drinks I pour The drinks I took to get over you The girls I fucked with that stayed over too She told me she loved me I didn't know what to say 'Cause truly I'm numb to every girl besides you anyways I just walked to work I guess I really need this My shoulders fuckin' hurt, my heart is still in pieces I haven't been to church because I'm busy dreamin' In sin I've been immersed, please forgive me Jesus