I am an actor, or an “actress” or “whatever”

Got a fancy college theatre degree

I told myself I’d be on Broadway by thirty

But I blinked, and poof! I turned thirty-three

It's a game of survival, but hey, that’s the biz

And new york is mad expensive, but the good news is

I got temping skills

To pay my bills

That's my scheme 'til my dream comes true

So I do what I don’t really do

So I can do what I do do

That’s what I do

Uh huh

Doobie doobie do

It’s not so bad, I answer calls, I print reports

When no one’s looking, use an office supply

Booya!

I type and file while I hum Stephen Schwartz

Crammed in my corner of the corporate sky

Ev'ry job’s got somethin’, makes it easy to bear

Like this swanky midtown office

Overlooking times square

Out my window I see

A Broadway marquee

And to me, that's a hell of a view

Reminding me I do what I don't really do

(ticks a clock)

... So I can do what I do... do

A survival job is a stepping stone

Before you become who you are

I mean, Madonna was a coat check girl

Before she became a global star

Meryl Streep waited tables

Marlon Brando – he dug ditches

Liza and Barbara and Patti Lupone

Never had a day job

Bitches!

But Harrison Ford and Jesus Christ

Both survived on carpentry

They paid their dues on the road

To greatness just like me!

Morning Jane!

Morning, Ms. Williams

I need you to channel your powers, and proof the entire annual report by 1pm

I got it. I’ll work through lunch

Gettin’ it done, Jane

You bet! That’s what I do. I’m gonna miss my audition

What am I doing?

I’m an “actor” or “whatever”

But I’m making self delusion an art

And I’ll go crazy in an office one more second

I’ll bust out of here by getting this part!

I see people who give up and

Leave the biz ev’ry year

And yeah, i’m thirty-three

But baby -- I'm still here!

Though i’m not there yet

I can’t forget that I bet

On myself coming through

I’m not gonna do what I don’t really do

I gotta do what I do... do

Oh yeah

I gotta do what I do… do

Whoa… whoa

I gotta do what I do

Doo n doo doo n doo doo n doo

Do what i do do do

I gotta do what i

Doo!