Story of the Stairs

And that was a dark, depressing time for him, you know

He did have one visit with his mother I think

During the time that he lived with me

And she brought him a huge box filled with gifts

You know, clothes and all kinds of little goodies and stuff

And it sat in the corner untouched

Literally for months

He never opened anything

He just left the box there

What's goin' on in your mind

When someone you haven't seen

Since you were nine is out on your doorstep

Right now, rewind

Remember that one time when Marco showed up at the front door

We found out he escaped from a psych ward

And stole Grandma's car, rest her soul

I know that's off topic but I miss her so

So ironic 'cause she was blind but told me how handsome I was

Every time that I walked in the door

Can't lie and say it was easy bein' fourteen on February 14th

Watchin' her body die in my arms

Then have to go to a school that I hated when my grades indicate

I don't give a fuck what's goin' on a couple hours later on

And not to mention that one bitch that I love

By the way I call her bitch because she was

Wanted me to catch another man fucking her

Invited me over told me to come in to the front

Come up stairs and say what's up

And there she was, little slut

I was broken hearted

Shoulda broke that bitch's jaw just for playin' me like a trumpet

But I step into the garage grab one of my brother's rifles

When I started shot that other motherfucker's truck up

I guess that's what led me to cuffs

Become a common in my life like funerals was

Daddy's less common now, he gave up

After he had the judge

Pin a fucking felony on his son

Funny enough

Me and Aunt Barbara even closer

Start to feel some weight lift off his shoulder

Till it piled back on

When the radiologist told her that she got breast cancer and

Might not live much longer

Fast forward

The woman that I call my mother isn't my mother

Or even blood but that's how much I love her

And I'm feeling awkward 'cause the doorbells from the person call her

Maybe I ain't ready for it

Shit, what should I wear?

Fuck that, I ain't goin' down there

I've waited over a decade for closure

Why should I receive it if it might not be somethin' that I wanna hear?

In the mirror is a empty reflection

And in my head are questions

I wanna ask like where the fuck did you go?

Why did you turn my birthdays to the worst days

Ever year that you didn't show?

And if you must know, I didn't turn out to be much else

Than a drunk who fell face first into a pile of hell

Took four snuffs from the devil's dust, ended up to my manager

Helpin' me 'cause I couldn't take a piss by myself

But I did get a record deal

And all my records got to makin' up a legend feel

And I did have a daughter who I promised that the way you made me felt

Is a way she will never feel

Slip a benedril in my cup

Fuck it I'm sickenin' up

Pit in my stomach, clenchin' all my muscles, stiffenin' up

I ain't been this nervous since I got shot

Flick the tip of my J over a surface cover with ashes and junk

Took a bullet, set it down

Put on both of my Chucks

Reached for the door with my hands

Sweaty, I'm anxious as fuck

Couldn't even hit the stairs without rememberin' how many years

I was there waitin' to see a car pull up

Now you sayin' she's right there

Now you sayin' she's right there

You tellin' me if I open up this door right here

That she'll be standin' right there

And after all these years

Am I wrong for having this fear?

I'm meetin' the reflection I was missin' in the mirror

Open up the door and then I see her