The Ad-Dressing of Cats

You've heard of several kinds of cat

And my opinion now is that

You should need no interpreter

To understand our character

You've learned enough to take the view

That cats are very much like you

You've seen us both at work and games

And learnt about our proper names

Our habits and our habitat

But how would you ad-dress a cat?

So first, your memory I'll jog

And say, a cat is not a dog

So first, your memory I'll jog

And say, a cat is not a dog

With cats, some say one rule is true

Don't speak until you are spoken to

Myself I do not hold with that

I say, you should ad-dress a cat

But always bear in mind that he resents familiarity

You bow, and taking off your hat

Ad-dress him in this form, oh, cat

Before a cat will condescend

To treat you as a trusted friend

Some little token of esteem

Is needed like a dish of cream

And you may now and then supply

Some caviar and Strasberg pie

Some potted grouse or salmon paste

He's sure to have his personal taste

And so in time, you reach your aim

And call him by his name

A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect

So this is this, and that is that

And that's how you ad-dress a cat

A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of full respect

So this is this, and that is that

And that's how you ad-dress a cat