Brown Shoes Don't Make It

One, two, one, two, three Brown shoes don't make it Brown shoes don't make it Quit school, why fake it? Brown shoes don't make it TV dinner by the pool Watch your brother grow a beard Got another year of school You're okay but he's too weird Be a plumber, he's a bummer He's a bummer every summer Be a loyal plastic robot for a world that doesn't care Smile at every ugly Shine on your shoes and cut your hair Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work Be a jerk and go to work Do your job and do it right Life's a ball, TV tonight Do you love it, do you hate it? There it is the way you made it A world of secret hungers Perverting the men who make your laws Every desire is hidden away In a drawer in a desk By a naugahyde chair On a rug where they walk and drool Past the girls in the office We see in the back of the City Hall mind The dream of a girl about thirteen Off with her clothes and into a bed Where she tickles his fancy all night long His wife's attending an orchid show She squealed for a week to get him to go But back in the bed, his teenage queen Is rocking and rolling and acting obscene And he loves it, he loves it, it curls up his toes She bites his fat neck and it lights up his nose But he cannot be fooled, old City Hall Fred She's nasty, she's nasty, she digs it in bed Do it again and do it some more That does it by golly, it's nasty for sure Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty Only thirteen and she knows how to nasty Well, she's a dirty young mind Corrupted, corroded Well, she's thirteen today And I hear she gets loaded If she were my daughter, I'd... (what would you do, daddy?) If she were my daughter, I'd... (what would you do, daddy?) If she were my daughter, I'd... (what would you do, daddy?) Smother that girl in chocolate syrup And strap her on again, oh baby Smother that girl in chocolate syrup And strap her on again She's a teenage baby, she turns me on I'd like to make her do a nasty on the White House lawn Smother my daughter in chocolate syrup And boogie 'til the cows come home Time to go home, Madge is on the phone Gotta meet the Gurney's and a dozen grey attorneys TV dinner by the pool I'm so glad I finished school Life is such a ball, I run the world from City Hall Thank you, and goodnight