Marry Me

Young girl says to her mom

"How did you know that father was the one?"

Then mom just rolls her eyes

She says, "You'll find that special guy," but to herself, she cannot lie

She says, "I'm praying for the day I die, and they bury me"

Then boy becomes a man

And finds that special one who understands

He knows 'twas meant to be

Her faults, he cannot see, now he's down on bended knee

I pledge my love eternally, will you marry me?

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

For the rest of your awful life, she is your lawful wedded wife

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

Eternal agony in holy matrimony

The two now joined as one

And from this holy union comes a son

So the cycle begins again

Another fool is on his knees, where is my alimony?

Hang yourself from the family tree, say marry me

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

Eternal agony in holy matrimony

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

For the rest of your awful life, she is your lawful wedded wife

Menopause, mid-life crisis

Moments for the rest of your life

'Til death do you part

Or 'til the kids leave home, she is your wife

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

For the rest of your awful life, she is your lawful wedded wife

Do you take this woman? (I don't!)

Do you take this man? (I don't!)

Eternal agony in holy matrimony

Just look at your parents' strife

Imagine that for the rest of your life

Do you take this woman?

Indubitably, I don't