After I escaped

I felt it right away

But it took a while

till I had words for it

Muscle memory hardly decays

automaticity had never left my brain

So sorry if I hurt you

I thought I still had to defend myself

All the things you did were conceived in violence

But you define yourself as a man of science

Please, don’t threaten me and penetrate me anymore

Could you tell the difference between a homicide in cold blood and a gesture of love?

I bet you can’t after what you have done

Maybe there’s no redemption, maybe there’s no relief

just an endless atonement for things I didn’t commit

But I’m trying to make a living like normal people does

but, you know, life is so liquid and I tear everybody apart

I regret that so much

oh, how much I missed their touch

Now I don’t care so much

somebody said “not all those who wander are lost”

But it’s been quite a long time since I don’t spot the coast

Sometimes I feel helpless to the aims i had failed,

to the mistakes and causes for which now i feel drained

And I don’t know whether my soul is a boat or a kite,

at the mercy of the wind or white sailboats in the night

But I’ll keep on sailing on the wavy hills

cause i need my sorrows to be eased