8 1/2

Thought I had it all Thought I'd live forever Thought the world was small Thought my words could turn to gold I knew what I was searching for I thought that I was thoughtless Thoughts of mine were arsenic Our hollow parts are toxic How'd our heart to hearts get arctic? Thought I told you I'm a beast AlI I do is die repeat I piece together puzzle pieces Of my youth to find release You see these single-celled amoebas Sing to self-defeatists Speak and sell their secrets Sink in seas of hell I think I see how Caesar felt These seasons seldom change I'm rearranging with the furniture She always sees the best in me I focus on the worst in her Trapped inside a labyrinth These hallways seem so circular One day I told my gods I dug a grave that they'd be perfect for The more I see the morbid scenes The more I seem like Morrissey I'm moored at sea and mortified With these boulders tied to dormant feet We're born inside a storm that breathes A swarm of bees protects me I feel empty yet I force my teeth And now all I taste is chlorine Everything is boring Insects singing for me Morphing from the morphine All their words are foreign More free than I've ever been My portrait keeps on warping Until the earth is swallowed hollering How low can I get today? Dark so it's like Halloween Dark Souls with the hollowing So hallowed be thy name Halos are just hollow rings Salo-ing, soaring up above LA on borrowed wings Exhausted blue skies tasting like exhaust again She always sees the best in me I told her that I'm not a friend All my poems posthumous These people's quotes are plagiarized Monochromic side effects, a state of mine Maybe I'm just starting to fishtail Heart is two fish hooks That mirror each other I'm uttering, all of my entrails Are chumming the water I'm under the weather Been running forever Becoming a martyr for nothing My garden's still covered in mud From the dahlias plucked in abundance Apartment's a bucket of blood I'm partly to blame when I'm placing the blame On the ones that I love Look at 'em go Hook in my throat Rigor mortis chiseled in stone To keep you alive I would give up my own Every living thing I'll ever know is temporary I can never give up being left alone until I'm buried