Hosing the Furniture

Hello my lucite coffee table, Someone spill a little milk on you? Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk Not to worry, Facet uh uh Facet One more twist That's better now Rinse cycle, lukewarm temperature, here we go What? (gasp) On! Silly little me me me me me me me I'm singing in the living room What's the time? 15 minutes Pour the bleach with the finishing touches on the dinner The dog! The dog! The dog! Still outside! Silly little me me me me me me me My nails, my God A chip. Tom likes Wonder bread with turkey Tom was preoccupied last night Is it me? Is it- Do I have enough milk? Oh stain, stain down the drain what a shine I can see myself in the coffee table, Pretty as I was on my wedding day I'm as pretty as the coffee table! We're so pretty Mother? Ah! What? You scared me! Who are you talking to? Who? No one What's all this? Why are you acting so weird? You know, I'm hosing the furniture! And when I hose, I sing to myself Hosing the furniture! Who do you think cleans up, some elf? No sweeping, No mops, and no time- it's wee! When I'm hosing the furniture, I'm free, I'm free Now run along and play! I'm concentrating. You know how your father likes to come home to that "Just decorated" look! And how are my vinyl drapes today? (cough cough) Dirt. Tsk tsk tsk tsk Clean in a jiffy now, Nozzle uh uh nozzle Finest spray Now we got it Cellophane dacron no asbestos What? (gasp) vinyl! Silly little me me me me me me me Raindrops are falling on my couch What's the time? 30 minutes Martinis, cut the flowers for the dinner The dog! The dog! The dog! Hasn't been fed Silly little me me me me me me me My hair, my Hod A grey hair Ouch! Tom likes cocktail onions Tom nodded off again last night Was it me? Was it- I get treated like dirt. Oh dirt, dirt, here's a squirt What a glow I can see myself in the drapery, Am I pretty as I was on my wedding day? Am I pretty as the drapery? Are we pretty? Mother? Ah! What? Don't do that. Dad just called on the phone Uh-huh He'll be late. An hour or two. Too bad! Don't you care? Me? Oh no! I'm hosing the furniture! Do I look mad? My happiness grows! Hosing the furniture Who needs dad, when I've got the hose? More hours. More showers. Hosie and me! When I'm hosing the furniture, I'm free, I'm free I'm free This house is a reflection of me. Modern, graceful, easy, simple. Synthetic. So free! In everything I see my reflection. Do I really look so simply? Pathetic! Silly little- Silly little- Silly little- Mister Television set, conquered by crumbs! Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk No problem Tangle mph mph Tangle knotted up ugh! There, ha! Steaming hot, and go What? Pull the trigger! Silly little me me me me me me me Soon it's gonna rain on the bookshelf What's the time? 120 minutes Dry turkey, look relaxed for the dinner The dog the dog thedog THE DOG DIED LAST YEAR! Silly little me me me me me me me My blouse, my God A crumb! Tom likes strawberry, chunk it! Tom was talking in his sleep Not to me. Not- why can't he throw me a crumb? Oh crumb, crumb, Drown you scum! What a life I can see myself in the television I was pretty on my wedding day I was pretty as the television We were pretty What now?! The drain backed up! Out! The kitchen's underwater! Out! Out! One more thing! Out! You've got crumbs on your back! OUT I'm hosing the furniture A minor flood never hurt anyone Hosing the furniture Sometimes I wish this hose were a gun Just joking! See, I'm laughing Silly little me! When I'm hosing the furniture When I'm hosing the furniture When I'm hosing the furniture I'm free I'm free I'm free