The Light Behind Your Eyes

I try to make it all okay in a sad and selfish way Twist the truth and shift the blame (twist the truth and shift the blame) Make excuses everyday (so I can be out of the way) Tell myself I feel nothing (therapy tastes like a drink) How can I be honest to everyone else? When I ain't even honest with myself I could lie say I'm doing so well Driving with the windows down talking to myself I'm like an Ivy League sinner feet up on the dash I've been driving around for hours for somewhere to crash Ive been talking about my life like how it happens so fast I know you probably fell asleep don't sweat it just text me back I'm not waiting for anything But I've been waiting for you I still try to find your eyes as I read between the lines of a life I knew Do you still love the winter here? Does that shirt remind you of her? The light behind your eyes keeps begging not to lie But I bet you can't tell the difference anymore If I told you the truth you'd probably hate me forever There's no falling back on your words so try to keep them together How can I be there for anyone else When I can't even be there for myself Do you believe you'd be better off sleeping without me Cause you won't need me