Your Ghost

When I was eleven I idolized you You seemed like you knew everything In a town where everybody knew nothing I wanted to grow up exactly like you You made me a mixtape that felt Like a blueprint for who I was becoming As we grew up I saw you change A sickness ate away at you 'til just a shell and the sickness remained And I don't know you anymore All I have is your memory and all the music you played me, so I drive around and listen to the tape you gave me And remember who you used to be You're gone forever so I spend time with a memory Just your ghost and the music and me When I was finding who I am you helped to point me To a future you're not here to see I try to picture us the way I thought we would be Just your ghost and the music and me I went to get groceries and thought about you A song from our childhood came on and I had to hold myself back from crying "How does it feel to treat me like you do" I hate how your absence has taken all Our favorite songs and twisted their meaning As I grow up I see the truth You always had two sides to you but I only saw one in my youth And I'm not angry anymore I'm happy for the time we had and all the music you played me, so I drive around and listen to the tape you gave me And remember who you used to be You're gone forever so I spend time with a memory Just your ghost and the music and me When I was finding who I am you helped to point me To a future you're not here to see I try to picture us the way I thought we would be Just your ghost and the music and me I wish you were you still I wish I could see you again I wish I could help you I wish I could ease all your pain I wish you could change