PTSD (feat. Mereba, Deante' Hitchcock & St. Beauty)

Used to bend for me like the steel of a hatchback You was there for Q like a fourth grade class fact Q was in for me, never needed to ask that PTSD, now I'm having a flashback Told me I'm sweet, can't sleep in the trap trap Enemy, envy, make the strap go brrat brrat You the missing piece, no peace when I sleep now Used to practice peace, finna sleep with the piece now Know I'ma miss you long as I'm alive You said you either gon' get rich or die tryin' I wish I didn't have a song to write I know you'd probably rather me keep it light My mama told me faith is all that I need And back in the day I would've agreed, but now it's hard to believe I still do, not 'cause I want, 'cause I need to Believe in something greater than me without being able to see it So fuck a watch, I wear my heart on my sleeve Nobody knows my sorrow, nobody knows about the trouble I seen A lot of dead niggas livin' through me, shawty, but not in the literal Most 'em dead 'cause they ain't follow they dream The power of a higher entity entered me Mentally, physically, spiritually, I'm on a whole different energy Fuck the world, but I need you to remember me I had doubt in myself 'cause I used to Fear that you would look at me differently If I ever changed, I'm numb to it now, I don't feel the same A slave to the feeling, I'm breaking the chains Tryna balance out the joy, the pain, the sun, the rain My life and the fame, done lost the game The guilt, the shame, my skin, my veins My soul done rained so much on my heart Really, I don't know where to start The irony of finding self in the dark My nigga, truthfully Feel like it's two of me, I should've been on that ark A love-hate relationship with my thoughts I'm tryna shine in my own light The realest nigga left in my own right Helping you with your vices but can't Seem to get a grip on my own life, yeah I was on my way down, breakdowns, breakthroughs Spit up out my debut, gotta say I stay true Maybe why I stayed broke, I been on a goose chase Gotta swallow pride when they see me, how the truth taste? Off the beaten path like Blueface On the North Side, had to be a Tuesday Walkin' slow with your kids on a school day Way past midnight suddenly my mood change That's when the truth came, in New York hearing rumors My sister was homeless, don't visit her often Been years since we talked, number changed Saw you and my heart broke in a couple ways I can't believe when I seen you, I knew shit was true Stared in your eyes and I saw a different you Skated off fast 'fore I could address it Hope I run into you 'fore we both get to Heaven We 'ight, we 'ight You opened up my eyes and helped me see the light We 'ight, we 'ight You opened up my eyes and helped me see the light, ayy Yeah, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha We just kickin' it, you know, ayy, woah I'm here with all my friends This is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what, what? And the hoes Ha-ha-ha-ha, yeah Said this is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what, what? And the hoes Can't forget about the hoes, yeah For the homies, for the homies, for the homies, what, what? And the hoes (Ayy, that shit sound tight) This is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what, what? And the hoes Ha-ha-ha-ha, yeah Said this is for the homies, for the homies, all the homies, what, what? And the hoes