Healthcare

Please welcome Alonzo Boden

Yes, how you guys doing??

All right, all right

Yeah yeah, I like this

I like what's up up top

Yes, this is nice

What's up up there? Chicago

I like it, i like it, man

What's up, Chicago?

How you guys doing?

I'm happy to be here

Yeah, it is great

I love your city

I just got through touring Canada

I got to admit, I love my country

I love the United States

But when it comes to certain issues, it's kind of nice being in Canada

Like in Canada, they have a thing called health care

And it's not a sin to have health care

How did that become the issue that we became so divided over

You know what I mean

Like people get so congress, they get so upset over health care

In Canada, they have health care

Now, I don't know the history of Canada

I don't know how it started

But I imagine that sometime in Canada, somebody said, hey, people are getting sick

And somebody else said, we should take care of them

And then they had health care

In the United States, President Obama came up with a health care plan

The Republicans are like, health care for poor people

We will shut down the government, in the name of Jesus

They always slip Jesus in on things Jesus would have nothing to do with

Right, like, listen, I'm not biblical, I'm not an expert

But I'm pretty confident Jesus would be OK with health care

You know, it just seemed like the kind of thing he'd go along

You know Jesus used to lay hands on the sick

I don't think he ever asked a leper if he had insurance

What? No insurance? I don't lay hands on uninsured lepers

Who let you in here

Now, listen, you put your legs back in the basket and crawl your ass out of here

How dare you?

You don't know how bad your health insurance is until you go to use it

I found out I have some raggedy ass health insurance

I went to the doctor

My doctor was like, look, if anything ever happens to you, get in the car

Because your car insurance is so much better than your health insurance

He told me he was like, you feel bad

You crash into something

Let the airbag hit you

And I might be able to save your ass

Because my health insurance got a whole column that's just labeled

Let him die

Just let him go

If he got that, no, he ain't going to make it

Don't waste no money