Johnny Jump Up

Ill tell you a story that happened to me One day as I went down to Youghal by the sea The sun it was high and the day it was warm Says I an auld pint wouldn't do me no harm I went in and I called for a bottle of stout Says the barman I'm sorry the beer is sold out Try whiskey or Paddy ten years in the wood Says I I'll try cider I've heard that it's good O never O never O never again If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up After drinkin' a quart I went out to the yard Where I met up with Brophy the big local guard Come here to me boy don't you know I'm the law So I jumped up on the counter and kissed him on the jaw We fell to the floor and we couldn't get up But it wasn't me kissed him twas the Johnny Jump Up And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the sea Was a poor man on crutches and says he to me I'm afraid of me life I'll get hit by a car Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar? After drinkin a pint of that cider so sweet He threw down his crutches and danced round on his feet A man died in the union by the name of McNab They washed him and shaved him and laid him right out on the slab And after the undertaker his measurements did take His wife took him home to a very fine wake It was about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high The corpse he sat up and says he with a sigh I can't get into heaven for they won't let me up Till I bring them a drink of old Johnny Jump Up O never O never O never again If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten For I fell to the floor and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of old Johnny Jump Up