The Best of Times

It's been a long and lonely trip but I'm glad I took it 'Cause it was well worth it Got to read a couple books and do some research Before I reached my verdict Never thought that I was perfect Always thought that I had a purpose I used to wonder if I'd live to see my first kiss The most difficult thing that I did Was recite my own words at a service Realizing the person I was addressing Probably wasn't looking down from heaven Or cooking up something in hell's kitchen Trying to listen in or eaves drop through some other dimension It was self serving, just like this is Conveniently religious On Easter Sunday and on Christmas The television went from being a babysitter to a mistress Technology made it easy For us to stay in touch while keeping a distance 'Til we just stayed distant and never touched Now all we do is text too much I don't remember much from my youth Maybe my memory is repressed Or I just spent too much time wondering if I'd live to have sex Fell in love for the first time in fourth grade But I didn't have the courage to talk to her In eighth grade, I wrote the note and slipped it in somebody else's locker Considered killing myself 'cause of that It was a big deal, it was a blown cover It was over for me, my goose was cooked Stick a fork in me, the jig is up Blew my chances, the rest is history Our future was torn asunder It became abundantly clear I was only brought here to suffer At least I didn't include my name Thankfully, I wrote the whole note in code And it had 10 layers of scotch tape safety seal Making it impossible to open Plus, it was set to self destruct Whoever read it probably died laughing I wonder if they lived long enough to realize what happened A year later, I came to understand That wasn't love that I was feeling for her I had someone else to obsess over I was older and I was very mature I forged my time signature While practicing my parents autograph 'Cause I was failing math Disconnected the phone when I thought the teacher would call my home Checked the mailbox twice a day At the end of a long dirt road Steamed open a couple envelopes Like I was in private detective mode If you snoop around long enough for something in particular You're guaranteed to find it For better or worse, that's how I learned It's best to just keep some things private It was the best of times It was the end of times It was the best of times It was the end of times It was the best of times It was the end of times Best of times, the end of times I was always on deck, I was next in line An only child with a pen and pad Writing a list of things I could never have Walls in my house were paper thin Every squabble seemed to get deafening If my memory serves me correctly I made it a point to void and forget some things Probably to keep from being embarrassed Never meant to upset or give grief to my parents Kept my secrets, hid my talents In my head, never under the mattress Therapy couldn't break me Never learned a word that would insure safety So I spoke softly and I tip-toed often The door to my room was like a big old coffin The way that it creaked when I closed it shut Anxieties peaked when it opened up As if everything that I was thinking would be exposed I still sleep fully clothed It was the best of times It was beautiful It was brutal It was cruel It was business as usual Heaven It was hell Used to wonder if I'd live to see 12 When I did, I figured that I was immortal Loved to dance but couldn't make it to the formal Couldn't bear watching my imaginary girlfriend Bust a move with any other dudes Tone Loc was talking 'bout a wild thing But I was still caught up in some child things Scared of a god who couldn't spare the rod It was clearly a brimstone and fire thing Pyromaniac, kleptomaniac Couldn't explain my desire to steal that fire Now I add it to my rider Like, "Please, oh, please don't throw me in that patch of briar" It was the best of times It was the end of times The school counselor was clueless 'Cause I never skipped classes Perfect attendance, imperfect accent Speech impediment they could never really fix And I faked bad eyesight so I could wear glasses Considered doing something that would cripple me Wanted a wheelchair, wanted the sympathy Wanted straight teeth so then came braces Four years of head gear helped me change faces It was the best of times It was the end of times Now I wonder if I'll live to see marriage Wonder if I'll live long enough to have kids Wonder if I'll live to see my kids have kids If I do, I'ma tell 'em how it is Don't listen when they tell you that these are your best years Don't let anyone protect your ears It's best that you hear what they don't want you to hear Better to have pressure from peers than not have peers Beer won't give you chest hair Spicy food won't make it curl When you think you've got it all figured out and then everything collapses Trust me, kid, it's not the end of the world