Redemption

I was walking home to my house

Through the snow from the station

When Springsteen came clear in my headphones

With a pertinent question

Oh, is love really real

And can any of us hope for redemption?

Or are we all merely biding our time

Down to the lonely conclusions?

Darling, let me take your hand

As I talk you through this

How loneliness edged into

Deep-seated psychosis

Lying awake in crowded hotel rooms

Focused on tape hiss

With my failings laid clear on the ceiling

I don't think I can do this

I don't think I can do this

I've tried so hard

To not turn into my father

But if I only ever skip out his choices

Will I ever choose better?

Oh, the sad truth is that the grass

It will always seem greener

So I left you alone in a restaurant

In London in winter

You deserve better

Adam Trask

Is on my back

And in my ears

And the sound comes clear

And brings the awful truth

That I can't stand what I've done to you

And it's written clear in my diary

Today should have been our anniversary

And I'm far away and I'm far apart

And you're back home with a broken heart

And love is real and I can't escape

I only ever have myself to blame

These failures shift and shake me in the night

Like a fever, I can't break, a try as I might

Wake me, darling, I need you to take me home

But I know in the end redemption is mine and mine alone

So if each of us is made up

Of a tally of mistakes and successes

Then the hour in that restaurant

Makes my score less than impressive

Oh, but each can be redeemed

By the courage with which he confesses

So darling, I miss you

Your music and your musk and your kisses

I don't think I can do this