I gotta be, I gotta be, I gotta be a better Christian

I gotta be, I know I gotta be a better listener

Be less of a victim avoid the systems

I gotta be, Lord

Please help me be a better Christian

I gotta be, I gotta be, I gotta be a better Christian

I gotta be, I know I gotta be a better listener

Be less of a victim avoid the systems

I gotta be, Lord

Please help me be a better Christian

I've took a few L's to cool off the heat of prowl

Things I don't wanna do Im doing it and doing it wow

And my truancy is wild because I'm supposed to be a leader

A Christian, a husband a proponent of freedom

I'm weaker than I'll know and it's depleted my power

I'd be payed if I could...

I'll have it made if I could...

I'd be well endowed if I could charge this thorn for its stay in this house

Shoot I would be rich beyond belief for part time leasing it out

It don't belong in my mind

It works contrary to God's design for my life

And it's creating distance from my wife

And my disposition is like, man where's my maturity

I'm Maggie Simpson never growing past the passie

I'm tryna go from “Good Kid” to a “Butterfly” but I'm still in the back seat

Free-styling my way through struggle in a “Mad City” pimped by past heat

I'm past heat, no doggystyle

Froggy style leaping to what makes me groggy now

Cause I've relapsed til past 3

I'm tired of giving in to this sex trance, I reminisce

Of days where passion for Christ overrides porn addiction but it don't exist

Where my pride hates my lips repressing fantasies that leave me gripped by sleazy chicks

Instead of confessing what I live

To my brothers and others that I know have supported

Instead I'm stealing my time to see my purpose aborted

Feeding the demons that leave me run dry and wanting more

Envious of what I don't have now I'm wanting yours

I'm thinking time and again how I need to/

Let go of my pride and repent, see I need to

Spend more time with God cause I can, (oh) I need too, I need too

Oh I need to

I'm not reaching out for my help but I need too

Messing up and I'm doubting myself see I need to,

Get myself together, I can't get myself together but need too, Or do I need truth

I need you

I've fallen and I can get up!

Oh no I can't because my pants is stuck

To the banister of the stairs to betterment

I wanna be a better man, but only see sin cycles

I'm supposed to be better but grabbing my crotch more than Michael

Without the iconic legacy

Only legacy is the one I'm driving because my wife does better than me financially

Why can't it be me providing

My peace is sliding through my fingers right along with my Jesus time and

Its got me frustrated I can't beat this tyrant

I've gave my time to recovery but recovering comes at a snails pace

I'm fighting depression for not having a financial fail safe

And I know people tell me it's safe to fail but I don't feel safe

stale mate,

This cell ain't comfortable

And I know the door is open

but the unknown is scarier than my coping and feeling broken

I'm open, I guess, Or maybe not I mean I can't keep running this cycle trend

Of worshiping the struggle

And not the one who struggled for me

So I stop

And take a pause

Theologically my time is God's

But since God is silent I guess my time is porn's

Because I rather have a little peace than no peace at all

And mentally I know real peace only happens when I'm vulnerable with God

But, I can hide and get applause by just being vulnerable behind the bars

But, I can hide and get applause by just being vulnerable behind the bars

I'm stuck behind these bars

I'm stuck

I'm stuck because of all that I'm not and all that I'm supposed to be. At this point of my life....

Come Home Mr. Martinez because you can't fix yourself

I feel you've made me a leader but my struggles co...

Come home Mr. Martinez I won't pressure you and you can just be yourself

I know I have to read more, and pray more

I want to fix you my way not yours

Come home and Just BE with me

Don't try and fix yourself without me