Winter Solstice (feat. Samantha Leah)

It's quite emotional You know? But it is what it is you know Yo, uh Christmas is coming, It doesn't feel like Christmas is coming I'm quite the pessimist this time of the year I hope I find a place to shed my tears, ya Christmas is coming, why it never feel like Christmas is coming? It's probably because my family fucked up Or probably cause my money ain't in lump sums I don't buy presents until after the holidays When the buy one, get two half off signs wave And I still may not make a purchase Now my fuckin' insecurities got feeling so worthless How I feel about religion got my prayers feeling so churchless If my soul ain't for sale then what is my sole purpose Rollin' down La Brea on the 212 I heard my worst enemy wished I do well I heard a close friend of me ain't too fond of me I got word that this tinder match wanna follow me She wanna link up tonight And I rather spend time with her than With folks I've known my whole life like Christmas ain't coming, I'm acting like Christmas ain't coming There's no bonds, just blood relationships I really hate this shit But Christmas is coming, I want it to feel like Christmas is coming Let me be vulnerable & face my fears Don't wanna hide my face when I shed tears, baby I'm extra cold this year (I know that I'm sad this time of year) (So cold, so cold) I wanna face my fears (always) And it's always the same, always the same, always the same So what do you believe? Give the kids what they want? or get what you need? But whats more painful to see? No food in the fridge or no presents under tree? The youth watching so there's accidental lessons we may teach The past got you in the box, feel like the present not for me My shelter not a home, & I been stressin' out for weeks A long hug may just make me feel complete I apologize if my emotions getting the best of me I been letting all my dirty laundry mess with me And the only way to get better, Is to address it when it's fresh & in the Name of love i pray you take these steps with me There's this underlining pressure to be great But when there's so many distractions & it's hard to concentrate Sometimes you get so caught in all the regret & shame Which is why every 365 I feel the same I'm extra cold this year (I just wanna feel, I just wanna feel like) I wanna face my fears And it's always the same, always the same, always the same