Inside of Me

Got a hot head and a cold heart Can't fill this void my souls parched Just want what's mine like a loan shark Let me stick you with the point like a blow dart I'm fucked up, no hiding that My nine to five sucks I'd die to rap Never really smile my minds a trap Stop looking at the past fuck artifacts Self medicate face side effects Hate where I'm at wont try to flex Don't know how to grow takes time I guess Find a new mistake every time I reflect I eject, negativity like a wack CD on repeat out the window They played me, can you blame me, Heart shrunk down could fit right through a pinhole Looking in the mirror but I see a fuckin' stranger Eyes blood red no sleep what the pain does Puff weed sipping liquor for a dang buzz Thought it was a cure but the wounds still drain blood Running from the pain but my stamina low Closing out the world causes damage to grow My life is a land mine planted to blow And I'm still running through the field like I plan to explode Took one wrong step now I'm left in fragments Battling the world and I know I must vanquish The attraction between a fridge and a magnet Is the same attraction between me and this anguish Got to move forward can't get stuck in the flame pit Looking at a happy picture sadly the frames split Never practice what I'm preaching positive language Until the day I'm not breathing Ima fight I just cant quit Hold it deep inside of me Destroying what I try to be Turmoil don't confide in me Spoiled by anxiety Want to leave but I stay Trapped in the night seek day Trapped in the night seek day Wanna leave but I stay Hold it deep inside of me Destroying what I try to be Turmoil don't confide in me Spoiled by anxiety Want to leave but I stay Trapped in the night seek day Trapped in the night seek day Wanna leave but I stay I'm, always, thinking of the worst first Brain got me on tilt seeking new work In the shadows I imagine demons it's a curse And they smirk Worst case barely sees dirt Bad thoughts row daily but I don't flirt With death I can feel that energy lurk Break bonds if I go under thee skirt Y'all know Emotions stay flooding my soul Drowning can't control shit My heart feels the environment close Pouring rain it never quits Making my time completely owned I don't ever wan to split I'm storming inside fighting for goals It's something that I can't miss I self destruct everyday, I'm never satisfied Sometimes luck, brings the negatives I crystalize Gave a fuck, once too much, and now she know the vibes Really stuck, and now all I do is demonize So it seems to be, but it seems to me I just need a key, for my head to ease Built a lot of steam, that I need to bleed Rain and angry seas, let me be free Hold it deep inside of me Destroying what I try to be Turmoil don't confide in me Spoiled by anxiety Want to leave but I stay Trapped in the night seek day Trapped in the night seek day Wanna leave but I stay Hold it deep inside of me Destroying what I try to be Turmoil don't confide in me Spoiled by anxiety Want to leave but I stay Trapped in the night seek day Trapped in the night seek day Wanna leave but I stay