Crushed

So I walk alone to reclaim what both of us had felt I'm calling out to all anons to help me help myself When I'm curious The signals are a mess when I reach out to you, it's sad I'm wishful in the way that I wish you'd help find my way back When I wander, I am fearless I'm still near you, can you hear this? It's how I can put my hand on your back in our bed and I still feel alone Sometimes when you're home, I don't think that you're really home Celebration, am I worth it? I call out to you with no purpose I just want you with no reason to deserve it It's constantly bad I feel constantly judged I feel you and I feel crushed And put on the spot You do and you don't Your eyes say both yes and no I thought you'd respond if my entire self was you I wake up enraged and throw my phone across the room Stability, I don't have it I just struggle with my stresses And I'm social, contradicting what is normal How I'm feeling