Dear John

Cold sweat Chill in the air, heat in my chest I'd been Chained to my bed Weighed down by all of the consequences of sleeping with him The ghost in my head I know you struggled with my decisions, my reactions, And all the mindless things I did To fill the void, to heal the pain To put the anxious thoughts to rest And this is not the way I thought that my life would turn out to be But it's fine Came crawling to you When my knees were bruised Tears glued to my eyes It's easy to choose To make an excuse Blood is not for life We met When I was out, out on the edge Deep end Living alone, lost all of my friends Pale skin, I am the shell of who I was Glad that we met, or I might be dead I know you struggled with my decisions, my refusal To take my life into my hands My admittance, and all the anger sitting right inside my chest And this is not the way I thought that my life would turn out to be But it's fine Came crawling to you When my knees were bruised Tears glued to my eyes It's easy to choose To make an excuse Blood is not for life My lips could not speak I struggled to breathe I was bones and blood You saw all of me While wearing my grief I was so far gone I can fight this, I can fight this I can fight this to the death I am hopeless, I am hopeless I'm afraid that this won't end No no no Came crawling to you When my knees were bruised Tears glued to my eyes It's easy to choose To make an excuse Blood is not for life My lips could not speak I struggled to breathe I was bones and blood You saw all of me While wearing my grief I was so far gone