A Call from the Vatican

Guido...

(stands, as if picking up the phone)

Pronto!

Signor Contini, telephone. Go ahead

Guido...

I was lazing around my bedroom when an idea occurred to me

I thought you might be

Wondering about

Guido...

Who's not wearing any clothes?

I'm not

My darling

Who's afraid to kiss your toes?

I'm not

Your mama dear

Is blowing into your ear

So you'll get it loud and clear

I need you to squeeze me here

And here

And here

Is something wrong?

...um, I'm not sure yet

It- it's, uh, about my film. It's from the Vatican

Go ahead, Monsignor

Cootchie, cootchie, cootchie coo

I've got

A plan for what I'm gonna do to you

So hot

You're gonna steam

And scream

And vibrate like a string

I'm plucking

Kiss your fevered little brow

Pinch your cheeks til you say, Ow!

And I can hardly wait to show you how

Guido

Who won't care if you come to me tired and overworked?

I won't

Bambino

Who knows a theraphy

To beat what you can get from me?

I don't

But this will

Have to be enough

For now

Guido

Ciao

I love you, Guido!