Composure (feat. NXVA)

Yeah, it was 3 January, I picked the phone up

Say, "Hold up, I'm drivin'", I fix the phone up

It was bro bro, he asked if he could roll up

Said I ain't home but why you quiet, fix your tone up

That's when a bro paused

And I ain't talkin' a short pause

At least a five-second long pause

Ya, yo, what the fuck is goin' on, dawg?

He told me all he heard from the start to the end

In a way I think that convo was harder for him

That party that she went to on New Year's Day

Make some calls to make sure, but she played you, Ray

I just couldn't believe it, I just couldn't

I even had the proof I needed, I just wouldn't

Saw signs, we chose to ignore them when I shouldn't

I just dived straight in the ocean without lookin'

Imagine me during my drive home and she in my home

And she been actin' like everything fine, yo

I'm thinking, Goddamn, maybe I'm goin' blind or

Maybe worse, maybe I been lovin' a lie, yo

My heartbeat accelerating quick as my car is

My temperature feel like I'm in front of a furnace

I got another call from my bro, told me slow down

Think about the way this is gonna go down, yeah

Shoulda not feel so much, shoulda not feel this real

You let me down

Shoulda not played around, shoulda not wait for you

(Maybe I should)

You let me down

Shoulda not feel so much, shoulda not feel this real

You let me down

Shoulda not played around, shoulda not wait for you

Well, you let me down

As far as doom go, I ain't got the energy

He probably did me a favour, shit I might let him be

Crazy thing is after all o' that instead of tellin' me

You let me walk around like a fool, like I'm your enemy

Like I ain't help you turn your dreams to reality

Like I ain't hold you down when you weren't hearin' from your family

Like I ain't go and get you a job and get you situated

Like I ain't keep my word in all that I initiated

Fuck all that shit I paid for, that ain't a thing to me

Told you I'ma take care of us if you take care of me

But you so busy tryna hide it like camouflage

Got me thinkin' maybe it's the trauma got you actin' off

Huh, or maybe you just loose

And I'm so naive I'm tryna give you an excuse

We watchin' love and hip-hop to hippy and Jo

You criticize him, but that's what you were doin' all along

Accusin' me of bullshit while goin' through my phone

Why it be the ones who guilty who be always paranoid?

All is fair in love and war, but the part that fucked me up

Is that I introduced you to my daughter?

She was eight, she looked up to you

She still ask me every day why I'm not wit' you

I don't even know why I got wit' you

Shoulda left your ass in the club instead of fuck wit' you, huh

You'll never know the situation you put me between

I nearly turned into a person I shouldn't have been

Back and forth forth for to the marine

You had sides that to me just couldn't be seen

I really thought that you miss queen

All along you were actin' like a movie screen

That old saying goes, "Show me your friends and I'll show you who you are"

Why your friends all in the groupie scene?

I ain't sayin' that's you, but that's some shit I shoulda seen first

Found out your reputation, you know, did some research

'Stead I'm smokin' Els while you twerkin' in my t-shirt

Caught up with that phat ass, didn't waste, yes, sir

Fast forward, you and Mel been actin' stupid

Maybe I should go and make a fake account like you did

Maybe I should stop tryna be the bigger man

**** still tryin' to give me love advice like they was Cupid

Quit the lyin', tellin' girls that we still an item

Next time you find a good man, you should get behind him

I learned a valuable lesson and it was perfect timin'

At least I gave you my all and that's the silver linin'

Silver lining, tell me how to deal with pressure

Candy and I, the time I learned a truer lesson

Devil on my shoulder, brush him off and count my blessings

Long I'm livin' learnin' life don't learn ya many lessons

I used to watch you wipe your nose

How many time you blank your blessings

Actin' like you not supposed to

Nobody knows

But then again nobody knows you like I know you

The type of girl, you wanna pause

The type of girl yo mama think you should propose to

I used to think the same, but after bein' hopeful

But now I know you, and all to play the game I know, bro

Shoulda not feel this low, shoulda not feel this hurt

You let me down

Shoulda not feel this low, shoulda not feel this hurt

Why you let me down?

Shoulda not feel this low, shoulda not feel this hurt

Why you let me down?

Shoulda not feel this low, shoulda not feel this hurt

You let me down

Shoulda, shoulda, shouldn't let it

Shouldn't let it