Spaceman

A grinning, empty eye socket moon hoists itself up into the pale evening sky,

and hangs there like a day old suicide. A sticky shower of radioactive moonbeams

cascades from the tops of nearby urban structures, causing indiscriminate loss of

limb to several innocent passersby, as well as general madness all around.

I survey the damage from a blind alley doorway to which I have been glued

for most of the day, having been inadvertently papered over by a bleary-eyed

bill poster some time before dawn.

Eventually I muster the energy to extricate myself from my predicament, as it is

time for me to make my appointed rounds of all the nearby potential sources of

aluminum cans. It is my sworn duty to collect all the cans in the area and convert

them into U.S. currency at a secret government installation whose location is

known only to me.

Later, having acquired enough money to keep myself in the lifestyle to which

I am accustomed, I find myself back on the street. I scan the crowd until I see

someone who is obviously insane, and then I follow that person until they go

into a building or get into a car, in order to make sure that they don’t do anything

crazy. While I am engaged in this pursuit, a nonstop stream of fire trucks and police

cars race up and down the boulevard, sirens blaring, looking for invisible emergencies.

But no one seems to notice. After a while I move on to the rest of my agenda for the

evening. Scheduled activities include a short, but passionate affair with a curvaceous

bottle of my favorite alcoholic beverage.

Presently I find myself holding court from a bus stop on the corner of Commerce

and Pearl, from whence I regale the passing crowds with my perceptive insights

into the nature of reality. An appreciative throng hangs on my every word.

It begins to rain. But everyone is concentrating so intently on me that they are

oblivious to the downpour. The water makes me light. I begin to levitate. I float up

off the sidewalk, past the top of a telephone pole. A thousand eyes follow me upward.

A big black cloud opens up and I zip through it at full tilt, going faster all the time.

Look at me. I’m above the clouds. The moon is laughing. Look at me. The earth is

getting smaller. Look at me. I’m out in space. Look at me. I’m a spaceman. Look at

me, I’m a spaceman. Look at me, I’m a spaceman.