Be (feat. Rav)

There's something rotten inside me You told me to be better, ain't honestly likely You told me to be more, truth is I cannot be You told me to be smart, kept promising I'm free You told me to be strong and belong, alarmed me That otherwise my life won't be long and lively Do something when I'm gone they don't despise me You told me don't be wrong, forgotten that I'm me? Become something that I'm not Crushed between the four walls, ceiling and the floorboards I can't walk nor see forwards When I talk my speech Mordor Scrambled thoughts that need order Not in reach, they're lost in deep waters Drawing on sleep exhausts my zeal harder Caught in grief I've honestly authored I don't wanna swim no more, I wanna fly Looking up at those that do, but I don't identify I feel lonely when I try, my dreams always seem to die I keep falling, I'm so sorry, I'm appalling in your eyes (AY) Show me how to be, I'll show you how to not I will climb the tallest tree and tie the tightest knot Yeah, hell yeah, I'm flawed as hell, I could never love myself As long as I carry this guilt, I will never feel fulfilled Show me how to be, I'll show you how to not I will climb the tallest tree and tie the tightest knot Yeah, hell yeah, I'm flawed as hell, I could never love myself As long as I carry this guilt, I will never feel fulfilled Beep, beep, beep, beep-beep, beep Beat, I reach for the screen, I need sleep This sequence is bleak, it reeks, then repeats Week after week, increasing my fatigue, I feel weak Tough to conceive I still bleed When I seem to be proceeding on reflex, deceit That I could feel relief, that I could seek dreams Which seemingly all my experiences deplete See at the beginning they said that I would be winning What a beautiful thought, but one I no longer believe in Belief feels belittling now, I've been beaten Bested beast, depressed and defeated So rest in peace to me that felt different Guess I failed at living, guess I fell and I guess I'm frail So my failure isn't your fault, just the weather shifted And my feathers withered Show me how to be, I'll show you how to not I will climb the tallest tree and tie the tightest knot Yeah, hell yeah, I'm flawed as hell, I could never love myself As long as I carry this guilt, I will never feel fulfilled Show me how to be, I'll show you how to not I will climb the tallest tree and tie the tightest knot Yeah, hell yeah, I'm flawed as hell, I could never love myself As long as I carry this guilt, I will never feel fulfilled (R-A-V) One lonely night, coming home from work to heavy rain Thirty feet from the train cross I cross everyday Bar halfway down, I don't hesitate Close both my eyes, oh for heaven's sake hit me today! I just want it all to be erased, disappear with the fear and despair Dissipate, all I've ever done is been afraid All I've ever done been is been this way You claim I ain't broken and you liken my wounds To things that you deal with, with ease, I should too You make me hate me more than I should hate you It's always you, you, you But mama, I'm me I just wanna be And I hope you're okay with that