A pattern of symptoms set in and the worry begins. they tell me it's all about perception. swallow another anchor to hold me down, to keep myself together at least for now. i will push through this. there must be some sort of consequence. sporadic thoughts multiply, they're quick to turn, i lose my mind. my biggest fear is that i'm living life all wrong, well i've been judged for what i've always loved. am i mistaken for trying to shake off this feeling. am i just lying to myself until i believe it. i wouldn't wish this on anyone, no one deserves to feel like this. fuck these feelings running through me. reach into your mind, empty the inside for something new. the thought of solitude, i would rather be left alone. stop.