A Courting Song (feat. Frank Fairfield)

Write a loving letter, boy

That swoops and sweeps and curls

The calligrapher is just the thing to help you win your girl

Then you'll need to dress up smart

The tailor's here by chance

He'll stitch your trousers, hole your belt in the fine couture of France

Your shoes, my goodness, how they're worn

But you're too young to know

Nothing courts a woman's scorn more than scuffs on the toe

The cobbler can attend to that

Meanwhile you must have cake

The baker and the patissier need work, for goodness's sake

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day

What a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day!

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day

There's work for all when little boys get married

That pointy cone upon your head

You can't be wearing that

The milliner, he'll fix you up with a proper high silk hat

The bride, of course, she'll need a dress, on that, we must agree

The seamstress, my young lover

Oh, how grateful she will be!

The rings! By gum, did I forget?

Well, that's my favorite part

The vows, the whole romantic mess

Now that's the jeweler's art!

And so, you see, our handiwork is yours if you're inclined

But our livelihood's at stake so, don't you go and change your mind

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day

What a merry time we'll have upon your wedding day!

Hi-dee-diddly-dum-ti-dum-ti-day

There's work for all! The little boy's gettin' married