Change - Lefspek: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Change

Hip-Hop/Rap

Change was released on February 9, 2021 by Ascension Sounds as a part of the album Open Oak

Song Details

Release DateFebruary 9, 2021

LabelAscension Sounds

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

BPM94

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

PERFORMING ARTISTS

Lefspek

Performer

Jabbathakut

Chorus

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Doug Barclay

Songwriter

Vincent Godsman Hedges

Vincent Godsman Hedges

Songwriter

Andrew Finch

Songwriter

PRODUCTION & ENGINEERING

Remulak

Producer

Lyrics

It's not easy to change

And it seems to me strange

That the choices that I make

Take me back to the same

Taxing my brain

As I try to make gains

But it's like groundhog day

And I'm stuck in the rain

I make plans I make goals

And man I got soul

But the doubt re-routes

And I'm on the couch

Hitting' bowls

Motivation gone

Slow to see whats wrong

Blaming outside sources

For what's really going on

Gotta stop all that

Like a pop bottle cap

I'll never hit the throttle

If I'm fizzled out and flat

But it's physical in fact

How I react

To the way I keep behaving even though I know the trap

It used to be fun

Now it's like a rerun

Marathon dusk till dawn

Wishing it would be done

Before even begun

I know the ending

Negative self talk

A precipice shelf walk

Eclipse my own wishes and live simply shell shocked

Post traumatic stress

Got me hiding from my best

Take the pain away

I'll take a rain check on the test

Of what's really testing me

Everyday is besting me

Counting all my blessing

Except the one that could be

Setting me

Free from the Deja vu

And send me on my way to what I want to see true

Cuz if it's really what I want

There's only one thing left to do

Change comes gradually

Pain keeps stabbin' me

Grabbin' at habits

To mask what's happened to me

With the truth in focus

I start to feel hopeless

I've always been fucked up

But it's tough now that I know this

Like a new framework

To tame the jerk

Who blamed a curse

For his worse decisions

Living with that in my brain hurt

Now that's the main work

To accept what I can change. Shirk

What I can't.

Dirt gets done

I'm the one that it all comes down to

Ground 2-1- 0

Heads Donnie Brasco

Life's Rob Diniro

Let down and betrayed

I try to let go of those days

As I start to sober up

I know I'm up against the rage

That I suppressed

Dealt with stress

By not feeling it

Weekends on X

To numb the next week I'm dealing with

And in my head its clear skies

But there really ain't no rainbows

The truth of who I am

Is just driving me insane bro

And I know it gets better

At least that's what they say

But it's one day at a time

So I guess I'll have to stay

Believing that it's gonna

Or just be a goner

Have my kids loose there father

To beer and marijuana

Like it really doesn't matter I'll keep it under the lid

And not truly be honest with what it mean to be my kid

An exact likeness, that's why I can't be like this

I hold tight to the mic

And I fight to write this

The old me is telling me

This way is wack

But I was forever failing

And that's a fucking fact

So before they're chucking me change

I'm changing back

To the youth who knew the truth

And was proof of how to act

Tap in to the power of love

In my hour of lack

Push my life forward

Try to not look back

In the past

I couldn't last

I needed help but couldn't ask

A month of cold turkey

Then I'd wake up trashed

And on went the cycle

Until I could barely write those

Words from my heart

Like every line was a typo

Not what was meant

Not a true intent

Just some fake persona

That I tried to invent

As if the real me had thoughts

That were stupid and lame

That little voice inside my head

Shouting guilt and shame

Trying to sound hard

Like that shit don't phase me

But I'm self medicating my pain

Nightly and daily

Coping to get by

Hoping I don't die

An angry lonely addict

Who never could and won't try

Kids scared to death of me

Wifey shedding tears

A guy who used to rhyme

But hadn't done it in years

That ain't no way to go out

I gotta get this flow out

I choose today sober

So I know I got no doubt

That I am what I am

And pull the curtains on the sham

Of acting like I don't understand the real plan

Written by: Andrew Finch, Doug Barclay, Vincent Godsman Hedges

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