So Long

I've been tryna find myself for so long

I've been tryna find my way around the sun

That might be sublime

But it's one am

If it's up to him

You'd be at his crib

But you're here with me

My patience running thin

I've been tryna find my way through the dark

I just need you here

When does the madness stop

I'll never close my eyes

If I do I die

And it's do or die

Can you spend the night

My demons mend and fight

Yeah

I don't like that

I've been tryna find myself in the maze

I don't wanna be the man that my friends praise

Don't wanna let them down

I know that soon I'll drown

Sipping Coke and crown

Looked at as a clown

Empty bank account

Much to think about

Living in the past

Can't live in the now

I might make an ass

Ass out myself

I saw myself

He was needing help

I just couldn't help

He has to help himself

All my mind does

Is just taunt itself

I've been tryna find myself for so long

I don't wanna be forgotten when I'm gone

If I close my eyes

And you're not by my side

And tonight I die

Would you catch a flight

Or would you even cry

Because lately it seems like

You can't find the time

And I just let you fly

I've been tryna find myself

But I cannot find myself

I've been tryna find some love

The love you never gave yourself

I thought our worlds complimented one another

But instead you wanted to burn mine down

Now I'm on my knees

Worshipping the thought of the broken pieces from the piece of me that you shattered

And I truly understand self love

You were a blessing because you were the hardest pill to swallow

The hardest truth to bear is in you

The lesson

You were my teacher in love

And I hate you for it

But I love you more than the most tender love I've ever felt in others

You taught me LOVE can make me HATE myself

And that's the HORROR in ROMANCE