From a Golden State

You won't believe how they handle snow days in California These kids lose their shit over just an inch or two Dad can roll his eyes and try to blame it on the transplants But his eyes look like everybody's do Everybody asks me how you're doing So hard to picture you existing here We can't get the Times and it's an hour to Trader Joe's And I can barely breathe two months a year The river's fine, but it's overrated Every teacher at my school looks just like me All the locals are so jaded Hating everyone who pays their salaries But I'll keep on pretending this is home Because I know that's what you wanted me to do You taught me how to live alone But I need more than memories to pull me through I bet I can love to suffer more than you Grandma's told me every story three times There's a hard drive full of prepubescent me And when I hate my dad, and school, and poetry, and cancer Sometimes I hate you most for leaving And I'll keep on pretending that I'm fine Because survivor's guilt's pathetically convenient You were even beautiful in dying I'm too much like my father to relent From the narcissistic self-flaggelence I pretend I'm a spacewoman's daughter I project mission completion dates I pretend I'm a spacewoman's daughter It's all relative, so I'll just wait, wait, wait I pretend I'm a spacewoman's daughter I project mission completion dates I pretend I'm a spacewoman's daughter It's all relative, so I'll just wait, wait, wait I pretend I'm a spacewoman's daughter I project mission completion dates I'm a spacewoman's daughter It's all relative, so I'll just wait And wait