Viagra In the Waters

Just outside of Johnson City On a dark and twisting road In a Kenworth 18-wheeler With a heavy, shifting load He was pushing through to Binghamton Though the hour was getting late Pfizers finest on a mission To the pharmacies upstate He was on a holy mission There were men who couldnt wait(for his thirty thousand pounds of Viagra) Hed clocked seven hundred miles Since he climbed into the rig Just another twenty-five or so Would finish up that gig But the trailer hit an oil slick And down the hill did fly (Oh, my!)til it landed at the bottomin the towns water supply It was instant rigor mortis What a hard way to die! CHORUS: Save your sons Shield your daughters Theres Viagra In the waters All over Johnson City People rising with the dawn They drank their morning coffee, Took their showers, watered lawns And who could have predicted All the changes up ahead? Men were getting up for work, And heading back to bed So many called in sick, You would have thought a virus spread Down at the courthouse coffee shop Some stared in disbelief As a pack of thirsty lawyers Started filling out their briefs But at the local college Young men appeared much smarter No chromosomal mystery They simply studied harder Now water on the rocks Is the latest party starter CHORUS The Johnson City firemen Cursed their wretched luck They could not get their fire hoses Wound back on the truck Sprinkling holy water at a funeral, Father Ryan said"I know Ive saved their souls, but Ive never raised the dead. Would a couple o strong men help me now-