Can't Just Be Ok

I've been cutting out everything Hoping my suffering would end No more coffee or partying Taking up jogging again Monitoring my screen time and I hate to report That I haven't been cured I've been paying attention to Everything on the news for once Thought that if I knew everything I'd control anything, but that was dumb Started burning all my time til I thought it was done But it's only round one They're telling me that It's gonna hurt, it's gonna take effort It's gonna get worse before it gets better But I just don't wanna wait To be not in pain All this time braving the weather It feels like it's been raining forever And I try and try, I can't get dry I don't know why I can't just be ok I can't just be ok I've been watching the same old show 20 times in a row for fun Rice-A-Roni and sweatpants Cancelling my plans with everyone Keep on looking for bright sides and I'm coming up short Always stuck in the storm They're telling me that It's gonna hurt, it's gonna take effort It's gonna get worse before it gets better But I just don't wanna wait To be not in pain All this time braving the weather It feels like it's been raining forever And I try and try, I can't get dry I don't know why I can't just be ok I can't just be ok Try to keep my head up high But I can barely see the sky Was it ever easy? Am I romanticizing How the sun felt on my skin All the fresh air I breathed in? If I said that this will end Would I be fantasizing? They're telling me that It's gonna hurt, it's gonna take effort It's gonna get worse before it gets better But I just don't wanna wait To be not in pain (I just can't wait) All this time braving the weather It feels like it's been raining forever And I try and try, I can't get dry (I try, I try) I don't know why I can't just be ok I can't just be ok (I try and try, I can't get dry, I don't know why) I can't just be ok (I try and try, I can't get dry, I don't know why) I can't just be ok