The Ugly One

Well my buddy Scotty, was feelin' kinda down A fork touged woman done run him in the ground I took him to the bar, We were scopin' the room We spotted a coupe girls and said hey y'all One was a fox Thee other was a dog So I said Scotty boy, here's what I'm willin' to do I'll take the ugly one The one who looks just like Atilla the Hun With that drug store perm, and them long red hairs on her chin Yeah I'll be glad to take one for the team I'm pretty sure you'd do the same for me Yeah I'll take the ugly one brother ain't I a damn good friend Then Scotty said Ray man we can find two more, That homely Thing looks like she could chew through a door I'd never expect you to go and do such an unselfish deed I said nonsense brother, You need to see what its like To get your world rocked by that sweet thing tonight I'll chat up her sidekick there, don't you worry bout me I'll take the ugly one somebodys daughters lookin' more like a son How'd she squeeze that behind in them high waisted Wal-Mart jeans I bet shes rockin' granny painties tonight, Lord, I hope nobody turns on the lights, Yeah I'll take the ugly one, aww but buddy you gonna owe me, well it turns out old rovers pretty BFF was havin' herself a pretty bad day And I heard that ugly thing whisper to her and she rolled her eyes my way You know what she said? she said I'll take the ugly one you get with scotty there y'all have fun I'll see how long I can stand this neanderthal man Girl he ain't no Brad Pitt! I better get to drinkin' heavy tonight Won't have to kiss the fool if I pass out Yeah I'll take the ugly one girl, aww but you better remember this shit Ouch Well I reckon thats what I get for being such a jackass