Heavy Heart

I always had a heavy heart

I always had a rough start

I always had a ride or die

But I never tried to take the time

To tell them that I love 'em so

Even when they're walking out the door

If I just told 'em how I really felt

I wouldn't have a heavy soul

Back in high school, I used to get bullied for my shoes

They said I wasn't straight enough to dress how you usually do

I was so insecure, I had to make sure my wrists were covered, too

And when I looked in the mirror, I saw my crooked teeth

I always questioned, "Why would someone want a girl that look like me?"

I had no ass, no titties to bounce 'em up and down

And when I walked down the halls, I wish I never was found

But I know I had control

I just never know how to take control

I bottled up inside until it took a toll on relationships

I know that it was wrong

I had people that were there, pretended that they cared

But a part of me still wants the love we used to share

Even if they're not here

Even if I'm not there

I always had a heavy heart

I always had a rough start

I always had a ride or die

But I never tried to take the time

To tell them that I love 'em so

Even when they're walking out the door

If I just told 'em how I really felt

I wouldn't have a heavy soul

And all the anger I used to bottle up inside

I take it out on others, it happened all the time

A victim and abuser inside my state of mind

Everyone had to know I wasn't feeling right

My mama's anger, brother's hatred

Lover's stares, strangers' judgements

Made me feel like I was alone

Made me feel like I was alone

But I know I own all my problems, control

No one's fault but my own

I need to learn, let go

Maybe I'll find some peace awake

Or in my sleep

I just want to be free

I just want to be free

I always had a heavy heart

I always had a rough start

I always had a ride or die

But I never tried to take the time

To tell them that I love 'em so

Even when they're walking out the door

If I just told 'em how I really felt

I wouldn't have a heavy soul