Ah, that song that we just did, Lingering Dad, it’s got the theme from M*A*S*H in it, quite obviously. Um, it’s on our new DVD, and we had to a lot of trouble to get it on there for, you know, copyright reasons. Um, it cost like two and a half grand, I think. Was that right?

Yeah

And then, ah, the final sort of hoop we had to jump through was send it to the actual guy who wrote it to get his, you know, final permission

So we wrote this next song about him

I am the Theme from M*A*S*H Guy

My kids are the theme from M*A*S*H Guy’s kids

My sister is the sister of the guy who wrote

The theme from M*A*S*H

It’s all I ever did

It might be all I ever do

I sit in a room in a house

Built from the proceeds of the theme from M*A*S*H

It’s my legacy

I will always be

To everybody and to me

The guy who wrote the theme

From M*A*S*H! (They end the note in a big scream)

Whenever anybody does a version

Of the theme from M*A*S*H

They are legally required

To send me a copy

Of their version of the theme

I spend all day listening

To recordings of versions of the theme from M*A*S*H

I’m building more shelving

So I can store the tapes of the recordings

Of the versions of the theme from

M*A*S*H

It’s my legacy

I will always be

To everybody and to me

The guy who wrote the theme

From M*A*S*H!

Guh-guh-guh

And on every spine

Of every tape

On every shelf I see

The actual name

Of the theme from M*A*S*H

Is staring back at me

It’s Suicide is Painless

Maybe in retrospect

I should have called the song

The theme from M*A*S*H

Hey!

I was just cleaning it!