Fixations - Twig & Cabaret: Song Lyrics, Music Videos & Concerts

Fixations

1

Alternative

Fixations was released on August 21, 2021 by 2050199 Records DK as a part of the album Butterfly Fallacy

Song Details

AlbumButterfly Fallacy

Release DateAugust 21, 2021

Label2050199 Records DK

LanguageEnglish

Melodicness

Acousticness

Valence

Danceability

Energy

BPM80

OVERVIEW

LYRICS

Music Video

Music Video

Credits

COMPOSITION & LYRICS

Conrad Decker

Songwriter

Lyrics

There is no structure to this song

I am merely catapulting words out of my brain and onto paper

It's what I'm doing all day long

Today I am returning the skirt

That we had bought together from Hot Topic

The memories are clear

They had flashed in front of our eyes like a movie while we were listening to

Mike Posner's album about his father's death

I bought it because it felt like the logical step in that moment to make you happy

But when I return, I can see

It's now only for me

Me only

This skirt is fleeting

With an aura that reminds me of a plastic bag

Though I know it's just my self-pity and ignorance

But truthfully it is

A size too big for me and if it felt right at that moment

The receipt says no longer

I mean really, $38.90

For this piece of cloth that is stylish

By some capitalistic standard

I got this skirt somewhere and for me

And now I'll return it for me

So I can let go

Of this light you glow

Except it isn't so

It's my head, it's silly, I know, I know

I will find a piece of garbage and give it a home

I will walk in and out of my house almost instantly

I will find a piece of garbage and write my ideas on it

To just get left there on the side of the street to be read by no one

I will time these moments up so I can be confronted by your reality

So I can understand how far it has drifted away from my hazy recollection

On my way to the station

I walk by this plump old woman in an orange coat

Who I once gave permission to rob me

I keep hearing voices

That vaguely remind my of juvenile chatter

But they're nothing like you

Why do I keep looking back

As if there is some some some someone

That I will kind of remember

And they will ask me why

I'm carrying a book and looking so lost

As if I can understand my own confusion

I'm just barreling through, like this train

That's never felt so loud

Like a direct cord was connected into

An electric toothbrush in someone's brain

Thank god I'm not having a conversation

The only person I talk to

Is this person in my head who people claim to understand

I claim to know her too

She provides a bit of clarity

About why this catastrophe

Feels so dumb and predicatble

I am not yet ready to accept that

I am letting go of an heirloom of my past

A past that never was

And if I see you here, I'm sorry

But I'll know that you're okay with it

I have my reasons

Why are conversations never natural?

A normal interaction feels like magic to me

And now I can see

I can understand why I never came here before

It's for couples with two bodies

And reasons to spend money

I could never have either of those things

If I had tried and I don't want them

I don't want them, I don't need them

Who cares if this exit leads to Telford Avenue

Or a portal into an alternate reality

Where everyone is a poet

But then I realize that reality

Could never be sustainable

I've heard it once or twice

It is the poet who has to die

And that poet is I

Let's shake this poet out of the beast

I think to myself

I'll have to buy a sharpener from that claustrophobic dollar store

I bought tape at when I was your age

There are pictures of female bodies

Meticulously placed to make us grapple with the thought

Of what it means to own your body

I have been told that

I am comfortable in my skin and I appreciate that

But right now it couldn't be further from the truth

And before I can take in the butterfly out of butterflies

There's Hot Topic and its brick exterior

Am I ready?

You would speak with this beautiful hilarious harshness

Screaming at our friend on the phone who was addicted to arcades

He was a victim of capitalism eating away at young boys

Loving cars, knowing they should know better

I'm about to give this skirt away

I would take one last look at it but I know it hasn't changed

It's just the same as always

And hopefully it will go to someone who is

Comfortable in it and will care for it

Just like you

And when you see me, I'll say we've been songwriting

So you'll know that we've been lost in our own world

And when you text me, I'll say we've been songwriting

So you'll know that we've been lost in our own world

And when you see me, I'll say we've been songwriting

So you'll know that we've been lost in our own world

And when you see me, I'll say we've been songwriting

So you'll know that we've been lost in our own world

Everyone around me is living a life

As vivid and complex as your own

And it is wonderful

I have returned the skirt

But I'm still wearing one

I am not a collection of stories about you

But I am about ourself and the people we know

On the way home I had a conversation with a woman

Who was pro-life and seemed genuinely disturbed

By the thought of vacuuming the organs of a fetus

Into tiny little pieces

And while talking I brought up the movie "Juno" and its brilliant soundtrack

And thought about how you could walk away from it thinking

"Wow, that baby was beautiful", or

"Wow, teen pregnancies are horrible"

And they would be equally valid

It made me think about how not everything is political

It is wishy-washy, and the movie

Doesn't feel a need to choose one viewpoint of life

It presents life how it is

In a beautiful cluster of images

That's what I'm trying to do with this music

As I reflect on the ever-changing nature of life

Staring at pants dangling from clotheslines in the wind

Or birds in trees mumbling

As my fingers dance across the piano and into your heart

(Sometimes)

Big cloud, bigger sun

The deed has been one and done

"It's getting late", they said

I've never been great with transitioning

I suppose I should thank you

What am I saying? Thank you

You are a wonderful spiralling chaos

Written by: Conrad Decker

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