A Soldier's Story?

Yeah My hunger to be regarded as the best Is what's starving me to death Partially depressed and harboring regrets, targeting success Bartering bars bargaining for checks Becoming a star seems startling so I'm vexed Nonetheless here I am though Like they shoved a rifle in my hands and threw me in some camo And told me to go be Rambo Just cause you got a soul don't make you a soldier Every shoulder ain't equipped to handle the weight of a boulder Used to couldn't wait to get older Over 30 now and jealous of Benjamin Button all of a sudden Reversing roles to live in reverse Feels like more of a gift than a curse Jogging your memory revisiting birth And truly get a sense of what life is literally worth I suppose what I write is like a zeitgeist for life's highs and lows From nightlights and tyke bikes to oversized girbauds To the everyday fight through the plight and providing flows That speak on it these sonnets steeped in Ebonics be bonnets how ya sleep on It I count up likes and read comments Some shit cut deep some bring comic (relief) Social medias unfamiliar land I recon it Obtain the info and what I gained was plain and simple Watch what you feed the soul 'cause the eye remains the window March to the best of your own drum don't let 'em change the tempo I came in this game with nickels Pockets in a major pickle then made it triple Was contemplating aiming pistols or slanging crystal Or crack, or matter fact any pack long as it brought plenty back Baby boy ain't conform just forged a formula then milked it Similac the raps is similar to Cinemax Who said they could hold a candle to Grip over wax, relax I'm from the class of Hova and 3 Stacks Pac, Nas, Big and Slim Shady Been wavy way before 1080 Having nervous breakdowns like I know the pen crazy But how I'm supposed posed to make Then think think think think I hit up Tigg 'bout management that's my mans and shit I feel if anybody was equipped for the task he could handle it Besides the fact this nigga cool He one of the only dudes I know that actually finished school (damn) And to me that mean he finish what he start So just stay down my nigga and we gon' see plenty from this art I hit up Tu let's cook from scratch You got the beats I got the raps First shit we made was cul-de-sac A classic track right off the bat "Porch" came shortly after that Hardly any records scrapped They knew that was a problem Dropped snub it was a wrap Was supposed to hit the road with brent Like 30 cities on the map Then that fucking Rona hit Lost out on 30 racks But many people lost their lives So how the fuck could I complain Feel like we moving from outside But I feel stuck inside my brain Is this really what I want? Am I still in love with this game? Tigg called like nigga Eminem just said your shit was flames Then me and Em hopped on a call And it all seemed fitting Just a couple days from quitting And the rest is unwritten