Tuscan Villa

Right now someone's making love

In a villa perched above

A rustic Tuscan vineyard

But you're here watching me

Where did your life go wrong?

Which decision led you on

A path that ended here

And not in Tuscany?

Cause that couple making love right now

Made choices that you didn't make

And I'm sure you've got hundreds of excuses

Why you couldn't take

The time off work, the kids need care

The flight's expensive too

But someone's making love right now in Tuscany

And it's not you

Right now someone's on a stage

In New York, getting paid

A hundred thousand dollars

But I'm performing here

And though I respect you all

It would be a stretch to call

A late-night gig in Melbourne

The peak of my career

And that New York performer must know

Someone in the industry

Nepotism, I assume

Is why they're there instead of me

But though I try to justify

It's plain for all to see

That someone's adding shows right now on Broadway

And it's not me

So it seems that we're all here

Against our will, and I fear

That our collective failures

Will haunt us to our graves

And when that day arrives

And our lives flash before our eyes

I doubt that this performance

Will feature anywhere

But even though our dreams have all

Been trampled by reality

I'm sure that there's a villa lying vacant

Now in Tuscany

So let's pretend we're in it

For the show that lies ahead

And if you cheer like I'm on Broadway

Then I'll play like we're in bed

Thank you so much, my friends! Look at- look at us manipulate you like that! Well, welcome everybody here to the unveiling of this suite of works, collectively known as "Symphony In J Minor." Tonight's symphony will consist of three movements: patriotism, parenting, and politics, although we'll also take a detour along the way through puberty, paranoia, and public infrastructure. But I'd like to begin, uh, with a piece that goes out to all my fellow nerds in the crowd, where are my fellow nerds?

Yeah!

No no, that was way too confident! Nah, the real nerds are sitting there quietly with low self-esteem. You know who you are, this one's for you.