Alice's Adventures Under Ground: “Ahoy! Ahoy! Check!”

Red Knight: Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! (Gallops down upon her brandishing a great club. The horse stops suddenly)

(to Alice) You're my prisoner! (He falls off his horse

He gets back up.) You're my

(A White Knight gallops in)

White Knight: Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! (He draws up at Alice's side and falls

Off his horse just as the Red Knight had done. He gets on

Again and the two Knights sit and look at each other

For some time without speaking)

Red Knight: (Courteous) She's my prisoner, you know (pause)

White Knight: (Suave) Yes, but then I came and rescued her

Red Knight: (Quietly) Well, we must fight for her, then

(The Red Knight puts on his helmet something the shape of a horse's head)

White Knight: (Polite) You will observe the Rules of Battle of course?

(Puts on his helmet)

Red Knight: I always do

(They bang away at each other with fury. When one Knight hits the other, he knocked him off his horse and if he missed, he fell off himself. They hold their clubs with their arms, as if they were Punch and Judy. They Always fall off with a great noise, like a whole set of fire-irons falling into the fender

The horses are quiet letting them get on and off as if they were tables. They always fall on their heads and the battle ended with their both falling off in this way, side by side. When they got up again, they shook Hands, and then the Red Knight mounted and galloped off)

White Knight: I'll see you safe to the end of the wood and then I must go

Back, you know. That's the end of my move

(Violent) I hunt! I hunt! For haddock's eyes

Among the heather bright

And work them (Raving) ha ha ha ha ha

Into waistcoat-buttons

In the silent night

I weep! (Shrieking) Ha! Ha! Ha!

For it reminds me so

Of that old man I used to know

Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow

Whose hair was whiter than the snow

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Whose face was very like a crow

(burning) With eyes like cinders all aglow

Who seemed distracted in his woe

Who rocked his body to and fro

And muttered mumblingly and low

As if his mouth was full of dough

Who snorted like a buffalo

That summer evening long ago

(As the Knight sings the last words of the ballad, he gathers up the reins, and turns his horse's head along the road by which they had come)

White Knight: (to Alice) You've only a few yards to go

Down the hill and over that brook, and then

You'll be a queen!

(Alice turns with an eager look in the direction to which he pointed)

White Knight: But you'll stay and see me off first?

I shan't be long. You'll wait and wave

(Clamour of bells)

White Knight: When I get to that turn in the road! I think it'll encourage

Me, you see

Alice: Of course I'll wait. And thank you very much for coming so

Far and thank you for the song I liked it very much!

White Knight: (Savage, cry out!) I hope so, but you didn't cry so much as

I thought you would

(Alice watches the horse walking leisurely along the road, and the Knight tumbling off, first on one side, and then on the other)