Wanna Be Myself

I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, I just really miss myself I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself (yeah) I forgot how to be myself (uh) I just really miss myself (somebody asked me, yeah) Somebody asked me, "What do you have outside of music that really makes you happy?" I thought about it and I ain't have no answer I started this shit ten years ago, it was just me and my manager On the road, doin' any shows, we was fillin' up this calendar But Matty's married now and it's a whole 'nothеr chapter While I'm in Gerryland, I'm still hеre wildin' as a bachelor Woke up next to a stranger, what's her name? I had to ask her She pro'ly thinks I got it all, but it's pain behind this laughter Hungover the mornin' after, close my drapes, make it blackout Tryna put the pieces together from last night when I blacked out On LSD, had a convo with my brother, it brought a lot up See I don't ever take the uniform off, and now I'm clocked out I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, I just really miss myself I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, yeah, I just really miss myself (yeah) Comin' down in my room all alone listenin' to Mac Last time he text me, I was fucked up, forgot I didn't hit him back Wish I could have spoken up, man, I just want my brother back But I mean, who am I to talk, bro? I'm still livin' like that They'll never understand what it's like to be a artist Make some shit I don't feel, yes men tell me it's the hardest They just wanna keep their jobs, stay on my good side, keep their office Keep us on the road, and no commission or the profits Now everything is peachy, and yeah, I feel Avicii Fifty thousand watchin' me, but I swear don't nobody see me But it's rich people problems, it's stamps all in my passport My mama tellin' me that, "This is everything you asked for" "What you want?" I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself (how to be myself), I just really miss myself (great mind, great mind) I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, yeah, I just really miss myself My anxiety increases the higher that I climb I thought this shit would get easier, easier with time I'm happy in my mind, but at least I tell myself that Guess I'm damaged goods, I cannot help that Drugs take the edge off, hide inside my comfort zone Different girl every night, but worry I'ma die alone Me against the world, can't decide now what side I'm on Miss my family, but act like I can't even dial a phone Cheated on my girl, I felt like shit, and then I sped off Crept in the crib quiet, shower, took my YSL off She woke up, grab my dick, I couldn't help it, had to get off And if she gave me head, felt like I wanna blow my head off Think everybody cheats, everybody will Everybody leaves, but these drugs never will I know that sounds fucked up, but in the end, it's real 'Til I'm lost on a bender askin' myself, can I chill? This scale here will measure, 500 pounds of pressure The only thing to alleviate it is a stash in the dresser Illuminate my ugly, you really sure you love me? You deserve to know the truth, decide now what you think of me I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, I just really miss myself I just wanna do these drugs tonight 'cause I just wanna be myself I forgot how to be myself, yeah, I just really miss myself