I Hate All My F.R.I.E.N.D.S

I wake up at three, and then I wake up at five, and then I wake up at noon I don't see any good movies I just watch the same damn show, like, every day since June It's not that I think it's funny I'm sick of being surprised Plus, I don't have any money, oh Call it a compromise And these four walls don't seem any bigger from my favorite spot on the floor 'Cause I'll know I'm getting old when my flannel shirts are growing mold You don't scare me, Matthew Perry 'Cause I see you every day, but you never even glance my way What do you know, Lisa Kudrow? 'Cause now I've used up all my tricks And I'm stuck for good in 1996 I know I can't choose my hyperfixations God only knows that I've tried I'm running low on excuses And even lower on pride I'm not the type to be honest about my mental decline So when they ask "How you doin'?" I'll probably lie and say "Fine" Oh, I'm wasting away watching Phoebe Buffay Could I BE any more deranged? 'Cause I'll know I'm getting old when my flannel shirts are growing mold You don't scare me, Matthew Perry 'Cause I see you every day, but you never even glance my way What do you know, Lisa Kudrow? 'Cause now I've used up all my tricks And I'm stuck for good in 1996 But I'm not waiting for the answer to arrive No destination, just pick a road and drive Beneath the migraine, he's saying "We were on a break" Stare at the ceiling and wonder why I'm still awake I think I'm at a loss, 'cause I'm just as shit with love as Ross You're a winner, David Schwimmer 'Cause I see you every day, and you somehow think that I'm okay But I'm not, though, Lisa Kudrow 'Cause now I've used up all my tricks And it turns out all my friends are dicks I'm not some other asshole you can try and fix And I'm praying I'll forget about my nervous ticks 'Cause I'm neck deep wading in the River Styx And I'm stuck for good in 1996 Woah