There's a mother and father both screaming at each other

And someone put mayonnaise in the cupboard; now who the fuck does that?

I'm watching neighbors in the window get it on across the street

Are they obsessed with each other as these rumors these days are obsessed with me?

Do you think I have a chance even though he's quiet or forty or something?

I can play dress up and I've read a few classic books

Just kidding, I've been there and I've already done that

It turns out I'm an asshole and it never ever works

I'm always pissed off and I crave attention

Someone once told me I was an exhibitionist at heart

Is it a habit, a finger-biting habit?

That I'm starting to crave before and after and after and before

Can I be reincarnated as Lady Lazarus?

Or Heath Ledger, the most charming man

Give me that gaze

You think everything's problematic and everyone's appropriating

So you might as well just shut the fuck up and consume, consume, consume

Wrong, you just can't remember

What it's like to be the younger version of you

Get a grip, put the mayonnaise in the fridge

Surely you can find a way to make some goddamn room