Hot Pockets

I'm moving a little slow tonight, I had a hot pocket for dinner

Good to see I'm not the only white trash here

I buy the hot pockets, I go in grocery

Stores, I'm like "Yeah, I'll get these"

I've never eaten a hot pocket and then

Afterwards been "I'm glad I ate that"

I'm always like "I'm gonna die, I paid for that?

Did I eat it or rub it on my face? My back hurts, ow"

I was looking at a box of hot pockets

They have a warning printed on the side

It said "Warning, you just bought hot pockets, hope you're drunk or

Heading home to a trailer, you hillbilly enjoy the next NASCAR event"

Hot pockets

I like NASCAR, he's a jerk

Never really see that on a menu when you go out to dinner

You know, "Let's see, I'll have the Caesar salad and the hot pocket"

"Uh, tonight's specials, we have a sea bass which is

Broiled and we have a hot pocket which is cooked in

A dirty microwave and that comes with a side of Pepto"

"Is your hot pocket cold in the middle?" "It's

Frozen, but it can be served boiling lava hot"

"Will it burn my mouth?" "It'll destroy your mouth, everything

Will taste like rubber for a month, I'll have the hot pocket"

Hot pockets

Hot pockets, yeah, they haven't been around that long, like ten years

How'd they come up with that? Was there some guy in a marketing

Meeting like "I got an idea, how about

We fill a Pop-Tart with nasty meat?

Then you can cook it in a sleeve thing and

You can dunk it in the toilet" (That's weird)

There is the vegetarian hot pocket for those of us that

Don't wanna eat meat but still would like diarrhea

Hot pocket

It should just come with a roll of toilet paper

Diarrhea pocket

You ever notice there's no dignified way to buy toilet paper?

You always have to buy that multi-pack of like eighteen rolls

Stick it in your cart, everyone in the store is like "Does that

Guy ever leave the bathroom? What, is he living off of hot pockets?"

Hot pocket

There's the lean pocket, I don't even want to know what's in there

Imagine the directions, "Take out of box, place directly in toilet"

Flush pocket

Pocket, pocket, pocket, pocket

Recently they introduced the breakfast hot pocket, finally

I can't think of a better way to start the day

"Good morning!" "You're about to call in sick"

Hot pocket

Now you can have a hot pocket for breakfast

A hot pocket for lunch, and be dead by dinner

Dead pocket

Do love that jingle

You think they worked hard on that song?

"What have you got so far, Bill?"

"Uh, uh, hot pocket"

"That's good, that's very good, not as

Good as your biominin but it's good

Now what are we gonna run in Mexico?"

Caliente pocket

"You've got a gift, my friend, don't hide that in a bushel basket"

Hot pocket

I saw a commercial for a chicken pot pie hot pocket

Now they're just messing with us

Just a matter of time, "Have you tried the hot pocket hot pocket?

It's a hot pocket filled with a hot

Pocket, tastes just like a hot pocket"

I'm going to stick my head in the microwave

Hot pocket

"He went crazy up there, I didn't know what he was doing at the

End there, I thought he was on drugs or something, very weird"