The Three Failed Escape Attempts Of Sheila Nail

First time I tried it, it was late at night

I tied some bed sheets together, tied 'em up real tight

Tied one end to a drain pipe

Threw the other out the window

Oh-oh-oh-oh

Looked past the edge forty feet below

I threw my leg over, thought here I go

And started climbing down the side of the building

Side of the building

Climbing right down

(Right down) Got looks from the squirrels in the trees and

Feeling the breeze across my night gown

(Night gown)

And I was a few feet from freedom

I was just a few feet from freedom

Then I heard a "Stop right there, put your hands in the air"

And I knew that my plan was a fail

Well getting caught is the worst

And that was only the first

Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

Second time I tried it was another day (Hey)

There were bed sheets involved but in a different way (Hey)

I hid inside the laundry bin

You would not believe the things I saw

Sha-na-na-na

Waited for hours, thought I was gonna get stuck

Then an orderly starts pushing me towards his truck

Which meant that we was heading out of the building

Out of the building

Headed right out

(Right out) I was covered in clothes, through a hole in some hose

I saw a light sprout (Saw a little light sprout)

Knew I was a

Few feet from freedom

Really just a

Few feet from freedom

Then I heard the orderly shout

"Look, a foot's sticking out"

And he lifted off my veil

Oh yeah, the warden was beckoned

And so goes the second

Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

And after that I said, "Forget the clever plan"

I saw an opportunity and I just ran

Got as far as the highway, stuck out my thumb

A car slowed up and here the warden come

She called me a filthy malcontent

And yeah, that was exactly how the third time went

And when they brought her back, she pulled a drain pipe down

(Flooded the whole floor)

Screw you, Miss Asp

(So badass)

(It's quite a story, unbelievable, in fact)

But that ain't really how it happened, it's just what I say

'Cause I did get in the car and as it drove away

I thought of where I came from

And I thought of where I'd go

Where'm I gonna sleep tonight?

I don't know

I ain't got no family, got no coin in my purse

Yeah, life was bad at school

Life before it was worse

And I ain't been a civilian since '53

And I'm sure the world's changed substantially

And Nation is scary and so, so unfair

But at least I have a purpose, I'm respected there

Hey driver, hey driver, hey, I'm not of age

You best take me back, back, back, back to my cage

And back to Nation I went

Oh, so embarrassingly of my own consent

Last time I tried, it was a different affair

I tied some bed sheets together and I stood on a chair

Tied one end to a drain pipe, the other round my neck

Ah heck

Without any prep

I took a step

And I could feel the air leave my body, air leave my body

It got real tight

I never cop to this kinda type of shit, but I have to admit it didn't feel right

I was just a few breaths from freedom

But it didn't feel much like freedom

And then the drain pipe broke

And I let out a croak

And the water rained down on me

I don't believe in signs

But I can read between the lines

So I guess this is where I'm supposed to be, hey, hey

And with the rain pouring down, inside of the building

Pouring right down (Right down)

I lit a hidden cigarette as I stood soaking wet

In my nightgown (Nightgown)

Bars and cages defined my freedom

But now I make my own kind of freedom

Running away is a bore

So I don't do that no more

I see a battle I fight

I'm my own shining white knight

I might be fucked in my head

But, hey, at least I ain't dead

And babe, I'm gonna, gonna, gonna prevail

By now you oughta derived

That 'cause I fought, I survived

And the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail

(Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail)

(Three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail)

Freedom

I lived to tell the tale

Of the three failed escape attempts of Sheila Nail