For them

The other day i played my dad a song i wrote about you

He said that he hopes no one ever treats me like that

I told him i wrote it from someone else’s perspective so he wouldn’t hate you

But it really got me thinking

When the lyrics made him sad

Cause he taught me to guard my heart

So how could i tell him i let you tear it apart?

He’d be so disappointed in me

And i hate to leave him wondering why

His little girl cries every night

He probably feels so helpless

I’m hurting him worse than how you hurt me

So i’m gonna try to fix myself

I think it’s time i admit i need help

And that starts with loving you from a distance

I really don’t care that i’m not alright

But i just can’t bear the pain in their eyes

When they say i should leave you and i always refuse to listen

Cause i’m comfortable when i’m breaking down and i push everyone who loves me out so i’m just left with you painting me blue again

And i’d let you do that forevermore

But they all miss who i was before

So it’s time i let you go

But just know i’m only doing this for them

The other day my mom came in my room as i was crying

I didn’t wanna talk so i yelled at her to leave

You could almost hear her heart break but that still didn’t stop her from trying

To pick me up off the floor

She said she’s getting worried about me

She’s given me everything and all i’ve done is give her anxiety

Cause she’s watching me fade away

I’m skipping dinner

And getting thinner

And i didn’t think anyone could notice

But she said all her friends are praying for me then she smiles but i can tell that she’s not okay

So i’m gonna try to fix myself

I think it’s time i admit i need help

And that starts with loving you from a distance

I really don’t care that i’m not alright

But i just can’t bear the pain in their eyes

When they say i should leave you and i always refuse to listen

Cause i’m comfortable when i’m breaking down and i push everyone who loves me out so i’m just left with you painting me blue again

And i’d let you do that forevermore

But they all miss who i was before

So it’s time i let you go

But just know i’m only doing this for them

How dare you look at me

Like i’m all you’ve ever wanted

Just to toss me out abused and haunted

How dare you hold my hand

As you brand your name in my skin

You’re my hero then you throw me back in the flames again

But third degree burns are better than a lifetime without you

Would it be that bad without you?

I’ve always shown up followed by a trail of my blood up to your door

And you pretend like you don’t know who the scars are for

And that’s all i’ve ever known

As long as i got one whiff of your cologne

That was enough for me

But all of me was never enough for you

There’s some people though

That are waiting for me to come back home

I wanna get better for them

So this is when i say goodbye to you

I understand now that i have to

If i wanna try to fix myself

I think it’s time i admit i need help

And that starts with loosening my grip on you

I really don’t care that i’m not alright

But i just can’t bear the pain in their eyes

When they say i deserve more

But i never thought less of you

Cause i fell in love with your beautiful lies

And i became someone they don’t recognize

And i don’t wanna be just another stranger to my friends

I’ve been stuck watching our two ghosts dance

But i’m not giving you your hundredth chance

Cause it’s time i let you go

But just know

I’m only doing this for them