Understand

Girl, I hope you understand I Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't Wanted to be your man back then And you knew I fell for you, but you Just broke my heart in two I was sad, mad, and broken on my bed Hoping I get rid of all the voices in my head I was opening a packet of an undeveloped med When I was met with a prescription of a bullet made of lead And when I woke up in an hour in a pool of my own sweat I said, "I swear to God I'll never even try to sleep again" So instead I took my pen and started writing evidence And when I started making sense, I found that I had reached the end Oh, I'm upset, I have no friends, you wanna bet, you're just pretend? You're just a pet confined within the lines of writing, you're not - I thought I stopped my psychopathic ways, I swear I did I said I talked to people 'bout the problematic life I lived They were my neighbors; razor blades and different flavored pills I hid Therefore, I'm at surely my last straw I'm so gassed, stuck in the past, I said that Girl, I hope you understand I Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't Wanted to be your man back then And so far I never held you with my arms So it's hard to be the one you aren't with Instead, filled with anxiety Always was a part of me, guess I'm not cut out to be Somebody 'cause it's not me, I'm not used to all the talking Was an introvert that had converted feelings into writing Used to cope with all my problems using notes and lots of rhyming Used to hope for better days whenever nights would have me crying I'm not lying when I say that I would rather die than go back To the times that I would try and be the guy the people know as Always fighting with the demons hiding far behind my eyelids On an island full of violence, in my head I had two pilots Oh, the sun don't shine, the skies turn gray I feel it coursing through my veins I said before I'm not okay But you don't listen anyway You know I tried, you turned away Straight out lied right to my face You - my life, ruined my day But you don't know, so I'll say Nothing can fill this silence No one can love like I did (you don't know, so I'll say) Nobody cares, you lied, it's Not fair, you still deny it (so I'll say) Nothing can fill this silence No one can love like I did (you don't know, so I'll say) Nobody cares, you lied, it's Not fair, you still deny it (so I'll say) Girl, I hope you understand I Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't Wanted to be your man back then And too bad I know I can't wake up Because I've lost my weight, and you don't give a - about me This could be a dream, I can't see the things that you see, so please, oh Girl, I hope you understand I Wanted to hold your hand, but I can't Wanted to be your man back then And you had known and played along, you Were my home, I wrote you songs Now you're dead to me, effectively Removed yourself outside my dreams