Hold You

Ma, I wanna hold you,

Stop, to let you know you,

Brought me to pull through,

It all and I owe you. (x2)

Ma, you know I think about you everyday,

Miss you in every way, wonder if you hear me say,

I miss when you would tell me everything will be okay,

Cause as of late I fight to make it through today,

I’m stuck in trenches, the trauma that affects the present,

It feels relentless and stretches to my adolescence,

Codependence, alone I’m feeling so defenceless,

I’m done pretending, struggling I’m getting restless,

Late nights with no sleep, for whole weeks,

I won’t eat, I’m so weak, it’s so steep,

I won’t speak, the pain is just so deep,

No change, my life is moving slowly,

Independence, relationships are often ending,

Abusive cycles leaving me with broken women,

I’m wearing thin and I’m wishing someone else would listen,

I find forgiveness cause you taught me love with no conditions.

Ma, I wanna hold you,

Stop, to let you know you,

Brought me to pull through,

It all and I owe you. (x2)

Ma, you validated all of my emotions,

Provided motive, empowered me to have ‘em spoken,

Fascinated by the will you had to help me grow and

Become a healthy man whose vulnerable and often open,

Breaking constructs of toxic masculinity,

The obstructs of growth regarding inclusivity,

Where men can shed their tears and do it individually,

Expressing all their fears while accepting sensitivity,

Now I look within and I see who I’ve become,

Healing’s been a process but I’m thankful it’s begun,

When things were going wrong I was used to the outcome,

Yet now I’m growing strong and I’m wondering how come?

Was it crying on my shoulder through all the pain you had?

From when you let out tears for the murder of your dad,

Or leading by example to show me what you have,

A love so unconditional for me to understand.

Ma, I wanna hold you,

Stop, to let you know you,

Brought me to pull through,

It all and I owe you. (x2)