All I Want for Chrismas Is a Dukla Prague Away Kit (Live at Sheffield Leadmill)

There was one in the gang Who had skaletrix And because of that he thought he was better than you Everyday after school You'd go round there to play it Hoping to compete for some kind of championship But it always took about 15 billion hours to set the track up And even when you did The thing never seemed to work It was a dodgy transformer Again and again A dodgy transformer Again and again It was a dodgy transformer Again and again A dodgy transformer That cost 3 pound ten So you'd send his doting mother up the stairs with a stepladder To get the subbuteo out of the loft It had all the accesories Required, nothing much atmosphere The crowds and the dugouts And the floodlights too You'd always get palmed off with a headless center forward And a goalkeeper with no arms And a face like his And he managed to get hold of A Dukla Prague Away Kit 'Cause his uncle owned a sports shop And he kept it to one side And after only five minutes You'd be down to ten men 'Cause he'd sent off your right-back For taking the base from under his left winger And cut to half-time You were losing four-nil Each and every goal a heartly diputed penalty So you'd smash up the floodlights And the match was abandoned And the dog would bark And you'd be banned from his house And your travelling army of sedated supporters Would be taken away from you and thrown in the bin Now he's working in a job with a future He hand's me my Giro Every two weeks And me I'm on the lookout for a broken transformer Er