Not Ready

Let's just be honest, Jesus I'm a mess Can't seem to fill this void of emptiness My bills are paid but I'm still stressed I need You, I need You Trying to medicate, end all the pain Can't hush these voices in my brain Singing songs of silence, sounds of shame I need You, I need You But if I tell the truth I'm so afraid of truth But I know it and You know it I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change Soaking between what was and what could be I'm so afraid to loose the image they see I don't even know what's happening to me I need You, I need You But when I face the facts, my feeling's not a fact I know it, yes, I know it I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change Sometimes I feel like I, like I gotta hide I just don't get why You stay with me 'Cause my faith and my trust are wavering Wavering Maybe it's all my pride, it's hard to surrender When I've been pretending to have it together But I feel like my world is falling apart Just need a minute, just a second to catch up I know I'm not finished, I just can't seem to get up Help me remember all of the place that we made When we were both on the same page On the same page I know I need to pray, but I don't know how to say I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change I wanna trust in You, but if I tell the truth I'm not ready, I'm not ready to change (But if I tell the truth-)